This is a "South Park" fanfic I hope is a short enough story for this list to be posted without a cut.
Title: Kelsey Queef.
October 11, 2010
Terrance and Philip with their wives Katherine and Katie Queef are preparing a Canadian Thanksgiving. We see extra place settings on the table. Katherine and Katie are expecting a sibling as a guest.
Terrance: Someone please, watch that turkey fryer out there before the place burns down!
Katie: I'm so glad Kelsey doesn't eat meat, so Kelsey won't have to put up with that crap!
(to Terrance) Why did you even buy that damn thing while you were in the US?
Terrance: It's a faster way to cook the bird!
Katie: Kelsey requested some black bean tortilla casserole and sent me this recipe.
(doorbell rings) That must be Kelsey, now. Kelsey bringing someone over.
KATHERINE ANSWERS THE DOOR. IT IS KELSEY. KELSEY HAS A UNISEX HAIRSTYLE AND CLOTHES. STANDING NEXT TO KELSEY IS A WOMAN IN A BRAIDED COIFF PONYTAIL AND A BLOUSE.
Kelsey: Katherine! (Farts) Ha, ha, ha!
Katherine: Kelsey, come in, who is your companion?
Woman: Happy Thanksgiving, I'm Katrina.
THEY REACH THE TABLE AS THE SIDE DISHES ARE PLACED ON THE TABLE. THE MAIN COURSES, THE DEEP FRIED TURKEY AND TORTILLA BLACK BEAN CASSEROLES AREN'T READY YET. KELSEY SPOTS A DISH OF BEAN DIP.
Katrina: Kelsey, you know how that affects you! (Kelsey digs in anyway) (farts). (Katrina whips out a jar of Beano and takes a tablet, she offer some to the Queef sisters, they accept).
CUT TO THE BACK PATIO. EVERyONE HAS A PLATE OF APPETIZERS. KATRINA NOTICES THEY HAVE BEAN DIP AND A TORTILLA BLACK BEAN CASSEROLE ON THE WAY.
Katrina: Two bean dishes?
Katherine: Katie brought the bean dip. We always went to our mother's house for Thanksgiving dinner when we got married. This is our first here. The first is always the mistakes.
SOON TERRANCE, PHILIPP, AND KELSEY FART UP A STORM, LAUGHING AS USUAL. KATHERINE TRIES TO ESCAPE BY GOING TO GET THE TURKEY OUT OF THE FRYER AND THE CASSEROLE [AS IF THEY DIDN'T NEED MORE FARTING] OUT OF THE OVEN.
Katie: So Katrina, what do you do for a living?
Katrina: I'm an attorney, in Toronto.
Kelsey: Honey, tell them the great news! (Katherine had finished bringing both main courses to the table. She fans the air to remove the smell of farts)
Katrina: Kelsey and I are getting married!
TERRANCE AND PHILIPP FART AT THE SAME TIME. PHILIPP NOTICED KELSEY ONLY FARTS AND NEVER QUEEFS LIKE THE QUEEF SISTERS. IS KELSEY MALE OR FEMALE? BUT IT WOULD BE AWKWARD TO ASK DIRECTLY.
PHILIPP: Congratualtions! Um, Kelsey, today is National Coming Out Day (Yes they celebrate this in Canada and around the world). Are you LGBT?
Kelsey: Yes! (farts)
KELSEY'S GENDER REMAINS UNKNOWN.
END